Steps as Parents

It amazes me sometimes how a silly thing like a commercial can make you think about something important. It was a Kleenex commercial with the therapist on the street. He is with a guy who is talking about his stepfather. It made me think about my own stepfather.

We were all grown up by the time my mother married my stepdad. Still he stepped up and was a parent to all of us. He didn’t even meet my brother until he and my mother had been married for over 20 years and my brother was in his late 40’s. The two of them have become very close. It’s not unusual for my brother to call and ask when I last talked to my dad. They seem to miss each other’s phone calls frequently. When that happens, my brother gets concerned and checks with me.

My brother has reason to be concerned. Dad passed out while driving home from Texas about 2 years ago. Luckily he did not have an accident or do any damage to his car. The same year he went to Ohio for a visit. While there he collapsed and was airlifted to the Cleveland University Hospital. A pacemaker was implanted in his chest. Several of us volunteered to go to Cleveland to bring him home, but he would not hear of it and made the drive home alone. A couple of months later, my sister called me to tell me that Dad was in the hospital in Atlanta. She had been contacted by a woman who was a stranger to both of us, but was obviously a friend of Dad’s. He had an infection around his pacemaker and she had accompanied him to the hospital. It turned out they had been dating. He had kept it quiet for fear my siblings and I would disapprove. Our mother had passed away in April 2004 and he was afraid we would not think it an appropriate length of mourning.

He has been the only grandfather all of our children have known. He is great-grandfather to the four children born to those grandchildren. It’s a job he has taken on willingly. I think he has performed as our parent since 1972 with grace and wisdom. Thanks Dad!