Monday, February 26, 2007

The Brain Drain

In late 2002 I was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. It is a chronic condition of the brain that causes cerebrospinal fluid to build up in the brain. Normally the brain creates and absorbs this fluid as needed to carry nutrients. Usually it is diagnosed in infants whose skulls are not completely formed and may become enlarged from the condition. Some of us either develop it later in life or live with it for years before exhibiting symptoms. My doctor feels that I am one of those who have had the condition for years, but now my body cannot compensate.

I remember having headaches for years, but attributed them to stress. I was a systems analyst and a single mother. My career was accelerating. I was supervising 13 people and managing 3 major projects. I loved the stress, but the headaches were becoming worse. When my son had a crisis, I reduced my workload to be with him. The headaches were still bad. Then I retired because of my chronic back pain and the headaches did not let up. I still attributed them to stress. I did not have the career responsibilities any longer, but it was hard for me to go from having a demanding career to full-time mother.

When my sister moved in with me in 1995, she noticed that my moods were unpredictable. I would change from being up and happy to extremely depressed in a matter of minutes. I knew that I could be angered very easily, but thought that was part of being in constant pain.

I was also having trouble with my balance. During a walk down the hall to the bathroom I would sometimes run into the wall. I used to do a lot of do-it-yourself projects at home. I installed ceiling fans, upholstered furniture and put up wallpaper. Now it was not safe for me to stand on a single step stool. I fell off ladders more than once. My sister and I both thought it was due to the function deficit in my right leg from the herniated disc.

I started having auditory hallucinations. I can’t even pinpoint when it started. I would hear a dog barking with both of our dogs in the room. They weren’t barking, but I still thought I heard a dog barking in the room with us. I would go to the door hearing a doorbell or knock and no one was there. At first my sister would simply placate me by saying she must have missed what I heard. When it became more frequent she admitted that there was no sound to be heard. I blew my top more than once thinking she was just trying to piss me off.

When the visual hallucinations started, I got scared. At first they were just dots or flashes. Then I started seeing animals and large bugs. It was hard to read because I would be distracted by non-existent figures. The day I thought I saw I man in a green shirt in my bedroom, I decided it was time to go to a neurologist.

I had a brain MRI on my birthday in 2002. The results showed that the ventricles in my brain were enlarged which is indicative of hydrocephalus. The neurologist referred me to a neurosurgeon. I went to the same doctor who had performed my back surgery. I knew him and felt comfortable with him. He agreed that hydrocephalus was a possible diagnosis, but thought it had been decided too quickly and needed more investigation. I went to a different neurologist for more tests. (I changed doctors because the first one didn’t seem to like me having my sister in the room with me. She became peeved when my sister asked questions and demanded to know what my sister’s qualifications were.) The second neurologist performed a spinal tap and a test involving the injection of an x-ray detectable dye into the spinal fluid. It was unpleasant, scary and painful, but necessary. I had to go back to the hospital for x-rays for 4 days in a row to measure the absorption of the dye. The results were all positive for hydrocephalus, so surgery was scheduled to implant a shunt in my brain.

The shunt is a very simple device. It is a drain that runs from my brain to my abdomen. There is a valve on the shunt that controls the flow. Apparently over-draining is more dangerous than pressure build-up. The pressure valves were developed in the 1950’s by an engineer whose son suffered from hydrocephalus. He wasn’t able to save his son, but millions have benefited from his work. I was so freaked out about having the surgeon drilling through my skull and putting a catheter in my brain that I didn’t even think about how the rest was going to be implanted. When I woke up with pain in my lower abdomen, it started to dawn on me. I had a 3 inch incision just below and to the right of my navel. I still didn’t think about how the drain was run under my skin. Then the bruises started showing up. They use a thing called a trocar, which is just a fancy name for a hollow rod, to push the drain down the body under the skin. I ended up with a bruise running the entire length of the shunt. When I had my first mammogram after the implantation, I discovered that the shunt is visible on x-rays. Since my shunt was implanted as an adult, I should not need to have a revision (replacement) unless it fails due to an infection or damage in an accident. I do not envy those who get shunts as babies. They have to have revisions because of their normal growth. The only thing I have to do that is out of the ordinary is to take an antibiotic before any medical procedures and that includes a simple cleaning of my teeth. Medical implants are prone to infection, so a preventive dose of antibiotics is recommended.

I had another symptom that I did not realize could be related to the hydrocephalus until the day after my surgery. For years I had popping and crackling noise like fluid in my left ear. I thought it was because of year-round allergies. When I woke that morning I noticed that the sound was gone. It comes back sometimes and on those days I have headaches and balance problems. I’ve also been diagnosed with Meniere’s disease which affects the inner ear. So whether it’s the Meniere’s or the hydrocephalus affecting my balance, I try not to climb anything but stairs.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The "Kids" are Sick

Just after I tell how to live with 8 dogs, my son is offering to buy a gun and start shooting them, starting with the little one. I know he is joking. The dogs seem to be passing an intestinal virus around. Penny, the older Boston Terrier, barfed on my son and DIL’s bed the other day. The little one, Hamburger, was vomiting yesterday and last night. I got up this morning and found vomit in the pen where she slept. The Boston’s were exiled to the dog bedroom after the first vomit on the bed. When I saw the runny bowel movement on the floor, I dropped my papertowels and knocked on the Master bedroom door. “She is your dog and I can’t handle all of this shit” was what I woke them with.

My son had his t-shirt up over his nose like a mask when I left to return to my room. Shortly after that he called me on the intercom to find out the location of our latex gloves. It seems one of the dogs had been pooping in a blanket on the floor and covering it like a cat. I couldn’t help but laugh. I quit laughing when I found a laundry basket containing the poopy blankets.

Well another of the dogs has started vomiting. Here we go again.

Do I Have Rheumatoid Arthritis?

I’m sitting here planning the evening’s television viewing while I watch Wheel of Fortune with one eye. I am so fatigued, but I don’t think I could fall asleep. I’m too tired. My day was not really that busy either. That is one of things that make me concerned about my arthritis. I have been tested for rheumatoid arthritis with negative results, but I exhibit many of the symptoms. I’m anxious for my appointment with the rheumatologist. The hardest part is knowing that something is wrong, but not having the expert pronouncing it as being so. There is a history of psoriasis in my family. I have psoriasis, but my skin is no where near as bad as my son’s. Could it be psoriatic arthritis? There is also ankylosing spondylitis which primarily affects the spine and hips. That could be me also.

I am very tired of being in pain all of the time. I’m finding it difficult to drive so I don’t go to the library often. When I do check out books, it hurts to hold them. I want to make coats for the dogs. It took me a long time to take a coat apart to make a pattern. I haven’t gotten any farther because I just don’t have the energy. It’s frustrating! I don’t write anything these days. Everyone, including my son and daughter-in-law get messages and lists from me that have been produced on a computer. Using a keyboard is less painful than writing.

I think it is also depressing because this is something I associate with aging. Inside I feel the same as I did when I was 12 to 14 years old. My body is giving out and it scares me.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Steps as Parents

It amazes me sometimes how a silly thing like a commercial can make you think about something important. It was a Kleenex commercial with the therapist on the street. He is with a guy who is talking about his stepfather. It made me think about my own stepfather.

We were all grown up by the time my mother married my stepdad. Still he stepped up and was a parent to all of us. He didn’t even meet my brother until he and my mother had been married for over 20 years and my brother was in his late 40’s. The two of them have become very close. It’s not unusual for my brother to call and ask when I last talked to my dad. They seem to miss each other’s phone calls frequently. When that happens, my brother gets concerned and checks with me.

My brother has reason to be concerned. Dad passed out while driving home from Texas about 2 years ago. Luckily he did not have an accident or do any damage to his car. The same year he went to Ohio for a visit. While there he collapsed and was airlifted to the Cleveland University Hospital. A pacemaker was implanted in his chest. Several of us volunteered to go to Cleveland to bring him home, but he would not hear of it and made the drive home alone. A couple of months later, my sister called me to tell me that Dad was in the hospital in Atlanta. She had been contacted by a woman who was a stranger to both of us, but was obviously a friend of Dad’s. He had an infection around his pacemaker and she had accompanied him to the hospital. It turned out they had been dating. He had kept it quiet for fear my siblings and I would disapprove. Our mother had passed away in April 2004 and he was afraid we would not think it an appropriate length of mourning.

He has been the only grandfather all of our children have known. He is great-grandfather to the four children born to those grandchildren. It’s a job he has taken on willingly. I think he has performed as our parent since 1972 with grace and wisdom. Thanks Dad!

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Arthritis, housework and new teeth

Next week is Valentine’s Day and my newlywed son and daughter-in-law have been working on gifts for each other for weeks. She kept asking me what he was planning for her, but I didn’t remember what he had told me. Luckily she convinced him to tell her that he wanted to get her a computer of her own. It turned out she didn’t want that. I’m not sure what he is planning now, but I may have forgotten again so that I can’t answer is asked. She got him a bicycle. I think that is really funny because he hated the bike I bought for him when he was 6. He was convinced it was trying to kill him. I sold the bike and he learned to ride on one belonging to one of the neighborhood children.

I am proud of the fact that they are thinking about each other and making plans. My son never had the benefit of a role model in how husbands and wives relate to each other. The only time my ex-husband got me a valentine, it was a candy heart. I was going to a doctor to lose weight at the time. It was back in the days when it was still legal to prescribe amphetamines. Here I was seeing the doctor once a month, taking my speed every day and measuring every bit of food. He couldn’t understand why I was upset about the candy heart! I had to keep the damned thing for months before I dared to toss it out for fear of hurting his feelings. I would have been happy to get a card.

This morning my fingers are barely working, but at least I feel like I have a reason other than it just being the morning stiffness. Our Oreck vacuum cleaner stopped picking up stuff the other day. I had just replaced the bag too. I have always been the type to take things apart, so after determining that it was not a blocked debris tube the other day, I brought the machine down to my room and tore it apart. Just inside, I found the remains of a ball the dogs had destroyed, the insides of a stuffed toy and a bunch of bedding from the hairless rat’s cage. It’s a good thing we have about 5 different vacuum cleaners so that we can use another to clean up after the dogs. They play very roughly with their toys. There always seems to be stuffing from some toy lying around on the floor. This house has literally gone to the dogs. I can’t complain too much. My room has “stuff” the birds have thrown out of their cages on the floor. I have to vacuum at least every other day. I’m glad I decided on laminate flooring.

I have been holding my breath waiting on two packages this week. I get most of my prescriptions by mail. The cost is much better that way. I get a 90 day supply for the cost of purchasing 60 days worth at the pharmacy. I waited a little too long to order so I have been out of blood pressure medicine and Prozac for several days. I sent my order by priority mail and requested 2nd day return delivery. The tracking information shows a scheduled delivery date of Feb. 12. I don’t think the process has been speeded up at all! At least it does not appear that I was charged the extra $10 for the faster shipping. The other package contains some gadgets to help people with arthritis. Since I don’t have a kitchen downstairs, I fill 2-liter bottles with water for coffee, tea and soup. Even though those bottles have been opened before, they are difficult for me to open. One of the tools I bought will help with that. It also opens pull-tab cans and plastic bags. I am tired of opening things with my teeth. With the luck I’ve had with my teeth lately, I’m afraid that pulling the seal off the Folger’s can will cost me a chunk of a tooth.

I had the impressions done for my partial plates the other day. It was a little messy, but they got good impressions. I was peeling that stuff off my lips for hours. I go back March 6 to have some teeth filled and have my first fitting. I am looking forward to getting those false teeth. I can’t decide whether I want a steak or some sushi for my celebratory meal. It will be good to eat without having to swallow whole pieces of food again. This is just another thing that makes me feel like I am turning into my mother.

Monday, February 5, 2007

How Do You Live With 8 Dogs?

I love animals and have had pets off and on all of my life. One of the worst days I had while my sister was sick was the day I had to have our 16-year old Bichon Frise put to sleep. He had started having grand mal seizures and we did not know why. They could be controlled, but he was not the same dog on the medication. Since I was dealing with my sister’s illness, I didn’t even consider replacing him.

My son’s girlfriend needed a place for her dog when she and her roommates started having problems. Since I have a large fenced backyard, she called me for help. That’s when this big goofy dog Jack moved in. The dog was still a puppy but well behaved due to the training my son’s girlfriend was doing. After my sister passed away, I felt there was a hole in my world that could be filled by a dog. We took Jack and went to the local animal shelter to look for a dog. I wanted one about the same size and age as Jack. There was a very sweet Lab mix that was 10 months old and she became my Jill. My son felt left out, so we added Reggie, a dachshund-beagle mix, to the household.

With that many dogs in the house, I wanted them all trained. We signed up for a class and Jack became a star! That dog wants so badly to please my son’s girlfriend (now wife) that Jack tries to anticipate the next command. Jill did OK with training. Of course the truth of it is that the class is for the owner, not the dog. Where my daughter-in-law (DIL) worked with Jack daily and several times a day, I would practice with Jill a couple of times a week. My son was worse than me about practicing. In his defense it is hard to work with a dog who thinks that it’s all about getting the treat. Forget doing something for the treat-Reggie just wanted that treat. We did manage to graduate and the dogs do have the basic commands down. Jack outdid everyone by performing a pirouette in mid-air and I think that was the trick that got my DIL hired as a pet trainer. Some of the dogs work with her as demonstration animals.

My DIL had made friends with our teacher. The teacher had a dog she was giving away and my DIL wanted it for her grandmother. We ended up with the dog, Kippy, in our household for a month after she was spayed. She fit in very well and I fell in love with Corgis because of her. When her departure time was approaching, I started to miss her. We ended up getting one of her puppies, Winston. I call him my “little man” (even thought he ended up neutered). Things did not work out with grandmother and Kippy and I was truthfully delighted. Kippy came home and we now had 5 dogs.

When there are 2 dogs in a household, it’s not much different than having one; just more poop. Once you go over the number 3, you have a pack. It helps to understand a bit about wild dog packs. They are matriarchal although there is usually a male ruler too. Since Winston is the only male, that job falls to him-he is the Alpha male. Then the females decide among themselves who is the Alpha female. If it requires a fight, that’s what will happen and you just have to let it happen. So Jack and Jill went at it and Jack ended up having to have four wounds sutured. We thought the matter was settled, but noticed that Jill who up until then had treated Jack like her playmate and best pal was going into alert status every time she was near Jack. We had to keep them separated. Even though Jack was submitting, Jill would attack her. We made a very hard decision and found Jill a new home where she was the only dog. The confrontation with Jill seemed to wake up Jack’s need to dominate. She went after the other dogs a couple of times. The problem is that she is so much bigger than the others and could inflict some real harm.

We decided to manage the pack by isolating Jack. We have baby gates on most of the rooms. The smaller dogs go into a gated room while we move Jack outside and inside. The thing I feel bad about is that Jack spends a lot of time in her crate. We do have a pen inside the fence and have started putting her in the pen. She gets plenty of exercise then because the Corgis are herding dogs and seem to think they are supposed to herd Jack around the pen. They bark in unison and run around the pen while Jack bounces around inside. I hope the neighbors don’t mind.

My DIL convinced me that since we love dogs so much, we should try our hand at breeding. She wanted to start with a Yorkshire Terrier. I agreed, but only if it was to be my dog. I gave up Jill, so I wanted a replacement. We got scammed on our first attempt to get a dog (don’t buy off the Internet unless it’s a local breeder that you can visit). Then I got Raina. Her name is from reina, Spanish for queen, but spelled differently so people will know how to pronounce it. About three weeks later we got Penny, a Boston Terrier. She is definitely my DIL’s dog. Our latest addition is Hamburger, another Boston Terrier. She claimed my son as her human.

I almost forgot CC! I do that often. She arrived between Penny and Hamburger. In fact my son didn’t even know we were getting her. He was a little pissed when he got home from class and found another dog! My DIL found CC in an online advertisement; free to a good home! We were the first to show up to see her and there had been 8 or 9 serious calls, so we grabbed her. She is a pure bred Cocker Spaniel. CC is beautiful and very sweet. I forget her because she just blends in and doesn’t call attention to herself. I should remember her because my Yorkie bullies her terribly. There are times that we have to drag CC inside by her collar because she is afraid of Raina, a dog who is 1/3 of her size. I call Raina my “Yorkshire Terror”.

So far CC and Raina have been in heat. Raina was too young to breed, but we did try with CC. My DIL had found a male Cocker Spaniel whose owners were willing to let us use him as a stud. He came to stay at our house for a week of unbridled doggie love. Unfortunately we had two virgins and we are not sure they successfully mated. The books I have read recommend that one of the dogs should be experienced. The humans involved, meaning us, were inexperienced as well, so we don’t know if there was anything we could have done to encourage them.

So now there are 8 dogs in the house: Jack, Reggie, Kippy, Winston, CC, Raina, Penny and Hamburger. We use magnetic letters on the back door to show the location of each dog: at work, in the pen, in the backyard or in the house. We use baby gates inside the house to restrict access to the dogs. We use crates to aid to house-training and for sleeping. Selected dogs do get to sleep with humans, but only if they follow the rules. The crates are also used during feeding, but no dog gets their food bowl until they are calm and sitting. Just like children, the dogs need discipline and structure.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Winter Musings

I moved to Georgia in 1978 to escape the snow. The winter before I moved we had over 100 inches of snow in the Cleveland area. My day started by cleaning the 3 inch accumulation of snow off of my car. Then I had to clear the snow the plow had pushed up behind the car. The day I gave my manager my letter of resignation, we were having a blizzard in March. He jokingly asked me how I could leave all of this while gesturing to the snow covered window.

The first winter in Georgia we had an ice storm. My then husband and I had doctor’s appointments that day. Foolishly we made the trip to their office only to find it closed. What should have been a 10 minute drive took about 45 minutes. It wasn’t us who were having the trouble; it was the rest of the traffic. We should have been ashamed of ourselves laughing at drivers spinning their wheels in hopes of getting some traction. We had a front-wheel drive car and winter experience. I should have felt bad slowing driving around stuck cars. Cleaning the car was fun too. We were very optimistic about the weather and had disposed of all of the window scrapers and brushes. I ended up using a credit card to scrape the ice off the car windows.

The children in Georgia know how to enjoy even a dusting of snow. I’ve seen pictures of kids sliding down hills on pieces of cardboard. The snow was so light that the grass was still visible. It didn’t stop them. My own son goes out whenever there is snow to play in it, and he is 24 now. Somewhere there is a picture of the snow duck he made at 1 am when he was 7 or 8 years old. I got him up in the middle of the night to see the snow and there was only enough to make a duck.

This is the second time in 2 weeks that we have had wintry weather warnings. This time there is snow in the mountains to the northeast of Atlanta. I will bet the dairy sections of the grocery stores were stripped of milk last night. I am not really being facetious about this. I do remember a winter storm around 1981 that had Atlanta frozen for about 3 days. I was able to get to work on the third day and needed to man the telephones since the admin people were not able to get to work. Atlanta is the corporate headquarters of the company I was working for and I took many calls from other parts of the country. People were irate that they had not been able to reach corporate for two days. I don’t know how many times I explained how an ice storm cripples this area. I felt for them because I remember being expected at work under the same conditions in Ohio. They just aren’t prepared for winter weather here.

I wanted to include some real winter weather pictures. Too bad these are all from my childhood. By the time you are an adult, it gets old.



Notice that the snow is up to her knees.



Valentine's Day:
I had to add to this. I just got off the phone with my sister-in-law. They had to have their driveway plowed this morning after a 20 inch snowfall. I am so glad I live in Georgia!