Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Do I Have Rheumatoid Arthritis?

I’m sitting here planning the evening’s television viewing while I watch Wheel of Fortune with one eye. I am so fatigued, but I don’t think I could fall asleep. I’m too tired. My day was not really that busy either. That is one of things that make me concerned about my arthritis. I have been tested for rheumatoid arthritis with negative results, but I exhibit many of the symptoms. I’m anxious for my appointment with the rheumatologist. The hardest part is knowing that something is wrong, but not having the expert pronouncing it as being so. There is a history of psoriasis in my family. I have psoriasis, but my skin is no where near as bad as my son’s. Could it be psoriatic arthritis? There is also ankylosing spondylitis which primarily affects the spine and hips. That could be me also.

I am very tired of being in pain all of the time. I’m finding it difficult to drive so I don’t go to the library often. When I do check out books, it hurts to hold them. I want to make coats for the dogs. It took me a long time to take a coat apart to make a pattern. I haven’t gotten any farther because I just don’t have the energy. It’s frustrating! I don’t write anything these days. Everyone, including my son and daughter-in-law get messages and lists from me that have been produced on a computer. Using a keyboard is less painful than writing.

I think it is also depressing because this is something I associate with aging. Inside I feel the same as I did when I was 12 to 14 years old. My body is giving out and it scares me.

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