I Can't Seem to "Bury" My Sister

I am the executor of my sister’s estate. The bills were paid and the rest distributed a while ago. I have kept things going in case I was able to sue the doctor who performed ‘Z’s 2nd gastric bypass. I’ve had one attorney say it would be to tough to get any money and a second has never returned my calls so I am going to close this chapter of my life. The only problem is that it involves the probate court and my niece. I have to petition the court to release me from my duties as the executor. Part of the paperwork requires the signatures of all of ‘Z’s heirs. Even though she was disinherited, my niece is considered an heir.


I hate asking her for anything. She never responded when she was given notice of probate by the court. Things went through because her lack of response was considered to be an affirmative response. Those times the notices were sent by the court. This time, I am sending her a form to be signed. I’ve been procrastinating for days. Today I decided to get it over with. I wrote her a short note, included the form, $20 for notary fees and bus fare and a return envelope with postage attached. I just hope she takes care of business and gets the form back to me soon.


My fear is that she will see this as an invitation to contact me. She does not understand that I want her to prove she can be a responsible adult. She thinks that serving 14 months in the county jail and a state prison should be enough. I need to see that she can support herself without leeching off someone else. My sister never stopped supporting ‘T’, so she did not learn how to do it on her own and I’ll be damned if I am going to take over my sister’s role. It would hurt my niece more than it would ever help her.


Well, I had to make one more try at the malpractice attorney. The second one has never returned a phone call so I called them to give them a nudge. I just want them to tell me to forget it or that it may be worth pursuing. I have a picture I took of my sister’s incision on 12/28/2004. It is awful, not only are there open areas along the incision, there are open holes where the surgeon placed drains when he did surgery to clean out the infection and fluid build-up. I need to get rid of these images. They haunt me. I feel like I should have tried to stop her from having that surgery. I felt that the outcome was not going to be good and never told ‘Z’ about my concern. She haunts me and I have to learn to let her go or she will haunt me the rest of my life.