Marta, the ultimate bitch!

My sister bit my finger about 5 years ago. She was in a lot of pain that day from her Crohn’s Disease. She said she hurt so much she could just bite me. I was a smartass and stuck my finger near her face. Big mistake, she chomped down hard enough to bruise me, but stopped short of drawing blood. I didn’t quite understand what she meant that day, but I do now! I gave my finches away yesterday and did a little more of the moving and loading work than I should have. I awoke at 5:30 am this morning because I was dreaming about pain and then was awake enough to feel the pain.

It’s rather ridiculous how much pain medicine I can take when I am like this and it doesn’t even make a dent. Last night I had 2 Darvocet, then a Tramadol and finally resorted to Vicodin. I wasn’t even goofy! I walked my dog a short time ago and just her pulling on the leash hurt my back. I stopped in the driveway to stretch my hamstrings. I didn’t think showing off my ass on the street was a good idea. The neighbors may be accustomed to me walking the dog in my nightshirt in the morning, but I think bending in half as far as I can and showing my undies would be pushing the boundaries of eccentricity.

I have a long day ahead. My son and I are going to Dahlonega. We owe a breeder there a stud fee for our Cocker Spaniel. They were going to take the pick of the litter, but the litter ended up being only 1 puppy. Instead we are giving them 2 female Yorkies and getting a breeding pair of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels in exchange.

Talk about being stupid: I just cleaned the puppies’ playpen. I leaned over the side to clean the bottom and sides with Fantastic. Of course the bed and the bottom pad had to be cleaned too. It’s not as good a job as I would like, but I just can’t do any more. I have this feeling that I will end up taking care of any litters we have in the future. The squirrel has been using the same towels since it arrived and its cage is dirty. I just fear that the animals will get sick if their areas are not cleaned regularly. But then that squirrel is the exception to that rule!

I am convinced that my son and DIL think I have OCD. That’s because I remember when its trash night, I load the dishwasher when there are dishes in the sink, I wipe the stove when its dirty, I wash dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher, I collect glasses and dishes from the various rooms and put them in the dishwasher, I throw away empty soda cans and beverage bottles, I put empty shopping bags in the bag holder, and on and on and on ad nauseum. I went upstairs to let the dogs out and wash my few dishes. One of the dogs had crapped in her crate, so that had to be cleaned up. Her blanket was covered in feces and soaked with urine. I threw it down the basement stairs so it could be washed and knocked over a glass dish that has been sitting on the stairs for weeks. The blanket landed on a box of jewelry which has also been on the stairs for the same amount of time. I think there is shit on some of it, but I don’t care. Then I had to clear out one sink to have a place to wash my dishes. I had a couple of containers that I wanted to put in the dishwasher. It was full and had not been run, something I find frequently. I did find a detergent tablet in it already, so I guess someone just forgot to turn it on. So I started the dishwasher then washed my dishes. I was going to leave the stuff in the sink, but I just couldn’t. I washed it and put the stuff on a towel on the stove to dry. I bet I will find things stacked up higher and the towel folded over so the stove can be used. Maybe a burning towel will show my family that putting the clean dishes away would be more sensible.

I know that I was raised by a tyrant who went too far with his rules about housework. I know that many times I am responding to his conditioning rather than what the situation really requires. But I do not think I am that nuts when I expect basic cleanliness. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, throw away your empties, put things away after you use them; I think its just simple logic. At least I know some stuff gets done when I do something like write a blog entry like this and tape it to the back door. It just pisses me off that I have to be a bitch to get people off their asses.

I'm pissed and acting pissy again

It is difficult to live with adult children. Especially if it is in the house I worked for many years. Mine do not seem to have any of the pride in it that I felt. When they got married I tried to offer them a sense of ownership by moving into a room in the basement. I told them the upstairs was theirs, feel free to decorate and make any changes.

I try to stay downstairs as much as I can. The dogs and the ferrets rule the upstairs. The hall light switch was broken at least three weeks ago. I have offered to help repair it, but still the hall is dark. The problem is that often there is dog shit in the dark. When the light still worked I would clean up the mess muttering to myself. I think the light will remain broken until I either fix it myself or force my son to fix it.

This morning when I was outside with my dog I found the Polaris (the pool cleaner) lying on the ground. I didn’t really just find it today, I saw it last week after my son and DIL had friends over to use the pool. It is difficult for me to lift the Polaris and the water it contains to put it back in the pool. I stupidly assumed that it would be taken care of later. They had been drinking that night and probably forgot it. Now the dogs are chewing on it. The dogs consider anything on the ground fair game. That’s why I have wire fencing around the filter and power switch for the pool, they have been chewed.

We are supposed to be getting a breeding pair of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels this week. I have been saying since we found out this was happening that the outside pen needs to have the weeds cut down. I go unheard. I cannot do it. Oh I can, but the price in pain is bad. I finally sold the lawn mower because all of the “to-do” lists that included anything to do with the mower went unfinished.

When they go on vacation, I kill myself cleaning their room and as much of the upstairs as I can. There is months of dirty laundry, dirty glasses and empty drink cans in there. I should have known how things would be based on their cars. The cars smell of McDonald’s French fries and there are dozens of empty soft drink cans. I have to clear a spot to sit if I have one of them take me somewhere. I keep thinking that all I want is routine clean-up, not spring-type scrubbing. I would love to see someone else care enough to vacuum the dog room of all of the hair the dogs shed. I would love to see the mess made by the ferrets vacuumed periodically.

I don’t know what the answer is. We are financially and in my case physically dependant on each other. I just can’t let go of some of my expectations.

Catching Up

I'm feeling a little whoozey right now. I was having a lot of pain in my tailbone, so I laid down to watch my soap. I fell asleep instead and when I woke up, my tailbone was on fire. I took a Darvocet right away and put an ice pack on it. The medicine wasn't working fast enough for me, so I took another one. It's helping, but I don't like that way I feel.

I think I may have to call my pain specialist to have refills called in before I have my appointment. I talked him into seeing him every 12 weeks rather than 8 weeks. I am also going to change to the Cedartown office. It will be closer than driving 100 miles round-trip to Canton. I'm hoping he will write 90 day prescriptions for the 2 drugs he is insisting I have refilled every month. I understand that they are controlled substances, but it would save me a little money.

Most of my pain this week is due to leaning over the playpen to get Raina or the puppies or clean out the bedding. It's a Catch-22. If I lean over, my tailbone and right leg flare up. I can't squat because of my arthritis. Too bad I didn't get a used baby crib instead of the playpen. I could have put the puppies up higher. I think I need to check the space between the spindles on a crib. If it's too big, maybe I can put some sort of netting around it. Sounds like I need to do some shopping at the thrift store before it's time for Raina to have another litter.

Tomorrow my daughter-in-law is running a fund-raiser for a dog park. She has drafted my son and recruited her mother and several friends to help. There will be 2 agility demonstrations, an area for dogs to be off-leash, wading pools for the dogs and a dog treat bake sale. The kitchen has looked like a bomb went off a couple of times. It smells so good when my DIL is working on the treats, I have been tempted to taste them. I just hope the weather is good to them. There is a fifty-fifty chance of rain. My contribution has been to wrap and package dog treats and print the transfers for the t-shirts and iron them on.

My Niece, Part 3

My niece ‘T’ had been leaving me alone as I requested. I started feeling like something was about to happen; this was the longest period that she had been out of touch. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

One day the phone rang and the caller ID showed only “Wireless Caller”. I felt I had to answer. It was my niece. She said she had called to give me her cell phone number in case of emergency. Finally she got down to the real purpose; I had mentioned in a previous call that a couple of people had expressed interest in her car. She said she liked using public transportation and did not want the car because it held too many bad memories. She gave me permission to sell the car for the “blue book” value and send the money to her.

A couple of days later she called and practicality ordered me to sell the car. She kept talking about “blue book” value. That car is junk! The tires are rotted, the brakes are bad, it has not been started for over a year and the interior is full of mold because of the broken windows. ‘T’ has also conveniently forgotten that she still owes me over $6,000 on the car.

If she calls again, I think I will insist she sign the title for me (I’ll have to send it to her to be signed). Then I will call one of those places that say they buy junk cars. Any money I would get would be rightfully mine. I would be lucky to just have someone tow it away without my paying them to take it. I certainly need the money, but if I got anything for it, I may send her some just to shut her up.

I hope they are doing regular drug tests on her. She sounded like she was in one of her manic periods. That is when she begins self-medicating. I don’t know if the state is still providing the medication prescribed by the prison psychiatrist or at least giving her a break on the price. She just sounds like the same old ‘T’ that would steal from her mother without blinking an eye.

Dogs, family and websites

I haven’t been here to post for a while. It seems that the dogs and my family genealogy website have been taking all of my time. My son and DIL went on vacation in early June which left me with 9 dogs (yeah that is 9) and the rest. By Wednesday of that week, I was ready to release my finches into the wild, turn the cats free in the front yard and start adopting out the dogs. Luckily one of my son’s friends was able to come over to stay with me. He took over the difficult dog duties and it was such a relief.

My Yorkie is pregnant. That’s why we had 9 dogs instead of 8. When breeding time came, the stud I had arranged was unavailable. His owner was due to deliver a baby herself any day. In desperation my DIL and I searched for an alternate stud. The only thing we could find was a male Yorkie for sale. He turned out to be a proven stud and a very sweet dog. So dog #9 came home. He was very enthusiastic about his duties as a stud. As a result, I have a female who looks like a hairy football. Her first due date is July 21. The male was starved for affection and needed more attention than we could give him. So we put him on Craig’s List and the calls started within 15 minutes. He has gone to a wonderful home where a very lovely teenage girl will give him the love he needs and 2 Pugs to play with.

Hopefully the Boston Terrier and the Cocker Spaniel are pregnant. We had to pay a stud fee for the Boston, but the owner of the Cocker stud wants first pick of the litter. I need to measure their bellies again today to see if there is any change. The Boston has gotten heavier, so she must be pregnant. I hope the Cocker is pregnant. Her stud was very beautiful. He is black and white with a shock of white hair in the middle of his black-colored head. Her litter should have buff and white and black and white puppies.

Through all of this my pain continues. I am having trouble picking the Boston up because of my back. I have finally been to the rheumatologist and fortunately I do not have rheumatoid or psoriatic arthritis. I have good old osteoarthritis, but it is particularly bad in my knees and hands. The doctor recommends injections of an artificial lubricant into my knees. I am all for it, but must pay $160 out of my pocket per visit for 5 visits. I just don’t have it now. When I sell the first of the Yorkie puppies, I will be able to afford the injections. The second puppy is going to purchase a 1988 pickup truck so that I will have a vehicle again.

I have been mentally and emotionally stressed out too. I have finally admitted that my finances are out of control. I sought help with a consumer counseling service only to have them recommend that I file bankruptcy. At this point I have to just try to dodge creditor calls. I can’t even contact an attorney until I have a certificate from the consumer counseling service. It’s part of the new bankruptcy rules. I hate it, but it may be my best opportunity to get things under control. I should not have credit cards; I just treat them like a license to spend.

There have been pleasant things happening too. I found my Dad’s favorite song and made him a CD for Father’s Day. For his birthday I made him a slide show of his early life, my mother’s early life, their wedding and an assortment of family photographs. Choosing the background music was challenging, I didn’t want to make people cry and also didn’t want to be flippant. For my mother’s segment, I used Steely Dan’s “Peg”. It’s one of my favorite songs and of course it was her name. Dad was in Texas with my sister’s family over his birthday. They had a party for him and waited until everyone left to present him with my gift. He loved it. I guess the rest of the family loved it too. My sister had previewed it and decided then that it needed to wait until only the family was there to watch it. I sent extra copies for my sister’s family. I also sent copies to mom’s brother and sister. I had fun putting it together, but had to leave out many pictures to keep the running time down to 15 minutes. I think I am going to make some more slide shows. I have loads of pictures in albums, but never really look at them. If they are put together on a DVD, I may look at them more often. I also have the ability to transfer video tape to my computer. I have super 8mm movies from the 1970’s I want to share. I also have my son’s first year. Some of that is dark and I hope I have software I can use to play around with it and lighten it up.

My genealogy website was hacked and used to send out millions of phony bank emails. As a result, I am moving it to a new hosting company. I have everything back up except the database. That was the point of weakness that allowed the hacker in. I had not been keeping up with the updates, so it is partly my fault. I have been able to get it back up with the version I was using when it was hacked, but I am having trouble updating to the latest version which is more secure. I just keep plugging away until I get it right.

Catching Up

I haven’t bitched in a while. I guess things have been going OK, but then I remember back over recent events and they really haven’t been.

I finally went to the rheumatologist a couple of weeks ago. He thinks I have osteoarthritis which I guess is better than having rheumatoid, but it is still arthritis and it still hurts. I woke at 2:30 am this morning with pain in my knees and hips. It was 5:30 before I could go back to sleep. The doctor changed my anti-inflammatory medication and doubled the dose on my Neurontin. He was amazed that I am still in pain with all of the medication my pain specialist has me taking. At least he believed that I was suffering pain and didn’t get condescending by suggesting I lose weight. He also took x-rays of my hands, shoulders and knees and bone density scans of my pelvis and hips. I’ll get the results of those and my blood work when I go back in June.

The water line from the meter to the house had to be replaced. No big deal except when it is 300 feet long and crosses a creek. I had two plumbers give me estimates. I had guessed somewhere between $2500 and $3000. Luckily it came in close to the lower end. I had to refinance my mortgage to come up with the cash. The hard part was waiting on the loan company. By the time the money came through the leak was so bad we were turning the water off at the meter. We would turn it on for a couple of hours a day to take showers, run the dishwasher and do laundry. In between those hours we flushed the toilet with buckets of water dipped from the bathtub. Thank heavens we are set for the next 50 years now.

The dogs have all been fine. We are waiting for 3 of them to come into heat so we can breed them. Last night we had a guest dog. Someone dropped a beagle off in front of the pet superstore where my DIL works. She could not stand to have it wandering around until the next day when Animal Control would be available. My son and I just got back from taking the dog out to the shelter. He should be adopted quickly. He looks well cared for and is well behaved.

I came close to killing our dogs. When Jack first started getting on the hot tub lid, I tried several things to dissuade her. Nothing worked. I just gave up trying to keep them off. There are at least 4 of them that get up there now. A few months ago, one of them chewed off a handle. I could still put up with that. In the past 3 weeks, one or more of them have torn up the cover and begun digging through the Styrofoam core. I’ve put plywood over the holes. In order to use the hot tub, I think we will need to use a full sheet of plywood and cut it to cover the entire lid. We’ll have to piece it together since the hot tub is 7 feet by 7 feet and a sheet of plywood is 4 feet by 8 feet. We have learned the hard way that anything the dogs can reach, they consider to be fair game. The skimmer net for the pool was the latest item to be lost. We pay a price for having so many dogs, but they do bring us a lot of pleasure. I have begun walking my Yorkie almost daily. She pesters me until I get her leash. Some days I don’t really feel up to walking, but usually feel better after even a short walk.

Pain, Water Leaking, Plumbers and Mortgages

This morning the pain situation is bad. My back is hurting. I think it is time for an epidural again. The constant pain level has been climbing and I have had more days like this lately. I would love to clean the leaves out of the pool before my next trip to the pain doc. That way I won’t waste the epidural. Maybe the weather will warm up a little next week and I can get it done.

I wish the plumber would show up. The water line is leaking right before it comes into the house. I should have realized it last month, but I just paid the water bill and didn’t look at the usage graft. I’m praying he doesn’t say that the entire line needs to be replaced because I just can’t afford it. Money just seems to disappear. At least my teeth are paid for. I’ve wondered if it would save some money if we were to dig up the water line. Since we don’t know when the plumber is coming I’m afraid to start digging. The dirt may be holding some of the water back. That may be really silly. If I dig up the water line, may be I can fix it myself. I think this needs some Googling.

Later: Well forget fixing it myself. The polybutylene cannot be repaired. Over time it becomes brittle which is why it is leaking again after being patched 2 months ago. In order to come up with the money to replace the water line, I am refinancing my mortgage and getting cash out. There will be enough money to pay off a couple of other accounts as well. At least my monthly payment will be within $75 of the current payment. I had two plumbers come out to do estimates. I did not enjoy letting one of them down. He was not happy and nothing I could say was going to make it easier. I just wanted off the phone! The work can be completed in a day and without interrupting the service. They will lay a temporary line on the surface so we will be able to access the water while they are working. I felt better about these guys because they bothered to check with the county about the necessary permits and inspections. The loan has been approved. I have to wait for the terms and completion of the paperwork. I don’t know how long it will take. I hope it won’t be long because I hear water running out into my front yard.

I just talked to the loan coordinator and he was delighted that I got all of my information faxed to him so quickly. I should hear from the appraiser on Monday. I hope this just goes quickly.

I'm feeling dizzy right now and I think it is just because I am tired from all of the anxiety over the water leak. I called the original plumber to tell him that he lost out on the replacement job. He didn't seem to be broken up about it, so I think I made the right decision in replacing him.