My thumbs hurt!

I am so tired I could just cry. Since my finches are gone, I wanted to clean the floor in my room. I had rolled up the area rug and put it in the trash the other day. The dog and puppies had just wet it beyond cleaning. So, I spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon moving furniture, vacuuming and mopping the floor. I had been thinking about turning my bed with the long side against the wall, so I tried it. I even lay down and watched my soap to try it out. It was a good idea, but I didn’t like it. So I ended up putting it back where it was this morning. I had my son help me move my dresser into my room. I was a little tired of realizing that I needed a bra and nearly stepping out in front of someone. Now I can dress in privacy. I still have some other moves to make, but didn’t want to push my help too hard today. After all, he was going to his in-law’s house to clean it around 5:00 pm.

I took my dishes upstairs to wash them after my meal of canned red beans and rice (ooo, yum; NOT). The sink was so full of dirty dishes from yesterday and the day before, I ended up doing an hour’s worth of dish washing. I hate it. Washing utensils is so painful. Any pressure against my thumbs is awful! I scraped the remains of last night’s casserole into the trash with my hands. I wish I could let the others here feel this pain once and they might appreciate what it takes for me to do the dishes for everyone. I think I’m just crabby because we ran out of cigarettes and don’t have any money. Maybe I should look at it as a good thing.

Oh yeah, I was right about the squirrel's cage. I had to throw one of the towels away it was so nasty.

"T" strikes again!

New trouble with my niece, the guy who took her junker car came by the other day. He had been to the tag office to transfer the title and get tags for the car. The second title showed up on the computer. A flag was put on his personal car tags and driver’s license. If he cannot show that he has a legitimate title by Sept. 29, they will suspend his tag and license. I was just sick! I had forgotten that ‘T’ had gotten a duplicate title. One of her drug dealer friends tried to use the second title to transfer the car into her name. Now we need ‘T’ to go to the tag office to prove that the car is being transferred legally. I don’t want to see her. I am not really needed, but I am the connection to ‘T’ so I have to be involved so she will go with us to straighten this mess out. The guy with the car has a friend who does title transfers for a car dealer. He has provided her with copies of all of my documentation about the car loan and the release ‘T’ signed so I could get her car when she was in the county jail. If this woman can make this happen, I won’t have to see my niece. I should know in about an hour, a very long hour.

Marta, the ultimate bitch!

My sister bit my finger about 5 years ago. She was in a lot of pain that day from her Crohn’s Disease. She said she hurt so much she could just bite me. I was a smartass and stuck my finger near her face. Big mistake, she chomped down hard enough to bruise me, but stopped short of drawing blood. I didn’t quite understand what she meant that day, but I do now! I gave my finches away yesterday and did a little more of the moving and loading work than I should have. I awoke at 5:30 am this morning because I was dreaming about pain and then was awake enough to feel the pain.

It’s rather ridiculous how much pain medicine I can take when I am like this and it doesn’t even make a dent. Last night I had 2 Darvocet, then a Tramadol and finally resorted to Vicodin. I wasn’t even goofy! I walked my dog a short time ago and just her pulling on the leash hurt my back. I stopped in the driveway to stretch my hamstrings. I didn’t think showing off my ass on the street was a good idea. The neighbors may be accustomed to me walking the dog in my nightshirt in the morning, but I think bending in half as far as I can and showing my undies would be pushing the boundaries of eccentricity.

I have a long day ahead. My son and I are going to Dahlonega. We owe a breeder there a stud fee for our Cocker Spaniel. They were going to take the pick of the litter, but the litter ended up being only 1 puppy. Instead we are giving them 2 female Yorkies and getting a breeding pair of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels in exchange.

Talk about being stupid: I just cleaned the puppies’ playpen. I leaned over the side to clean the bottom and sides with Fantastic. Of course the bed and the bottom pad had to be cleaned too. It’s not as good a job as I would like, but I just can’t do any more. I have this feeling that I will end up taking care of any litters we have in the future. The squirrel has been using the same towels since it arrived and its cage is dirty. I just fear that the animals will get sick if their areas are not cleaned regularly. But then that squirrel is the exception to that rule!

I am convinced that my son and DIL think I have OCD. That’s because I remember when its trash night, I load the dishwasher when there are dishes in the sink, I wipe the stove when its dirty, I wash dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher, I collect glasses and dishes from the various rooms and put them in the dishwasher, I throw away empty soda cans and beverage bottles, I put empty shopping bags in the bag holder, and on and on and on ad nauseum. I went upstairs to let the dogs out and wash my few dishes. One of the dogs had crapped in her crate, so that had to be cleaned up. Her blanket was covered in feces and soaked with urine. I threw it down the basement stairs so it could be washed and knocked over a glass dish that has been sitting on the stairs for weeks. The blanket landed on a box of jewelry which has also been on the stairs for the same amount of time. I think there is shit on some of it, but I don’t care. Then I had to clear out one sink to have a place to wash my dishes. I had a couple of containers that I wanted to put in the dishwasher. It was full and had not been run, something I find frequently. I did find a detergent tablet in it already, so I guess someone just forgot to turn it on. So I started the dishwasher then washed my dishes. I was going to leave the stuff in the sink, but I just couldn’t. I washed it and put the stuff on a towel on the stove to dry. I bet I will find things stacked up higher and the towel folded over so the stove can be used. Maybe a burning towel will show my family that putting the clean dishes away would be more sensible.

I know that I was raised by a tyrant who went too far with his rules about housework. I know that many times I am responding to his conditioning rather than what the situation really requires. But I do not think I am that nuts when I expect basic cleanliness. Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher, throw away your empties, put things away after you use them; I think its just simple logic. At least I know some stuff gets done when I do something like write a blog entry like this and tape it to the back door. It just pisses me off that I have to be a bitch to get people off their asses.

I'm pissed and acting pissy again

It is difficult to live with adult children. Especially if it is in the house I worked for many years. Mine do not seem to have any of the pride in it that I felt. When they got married I tried to offer them a sense of ownership by moving into a room in the basement. I told them the upstairs was theirs, feel free to decorate and make any changes.

I try to stay downstairs as much as I can. The dogs and the ferrets rule the upstairs. The hall light switch was broken at least three weeks ago. I have offered to help repair it, but still the hall is dark. The problem is that often there is dog shit in the dark. When the light still worked I would clean up the mess muttering to myself. I think the light will remain broken until I either fix it myself or force my son to fix it.

This morning when I was outside with my dog I found the Polaris (the pool cleaner) lying on the ground. I didn’t really just find it today, I saw it last week after my son and DIL had friends over to use the pool. It is difficult for me to lift the Polaris and the water it contains to put it back in the pool. I stupidly assumed that it would be taken care of later. They had been drinking that night and probably forgot it. Now the dogs are chewing on it. The dogs consider anything on the ground fair game. That’s why I have wire fencing around the filter and power switch for the pool, they have been chewed.

We are supposed to be getting a breeding pair of Cavalier King Charles Spaniels this week. I have been saying since we found out this was happening that the outside pen needs to have the weeds cut down. I go unheard. I cannot do it. Oh I can, but the price in pain is bad. I finally sold the lawn mower because all of the “to-do” lists that included anything to do with the mower went unfinished.

When they go on vacation, I kill myself cleaning their room and as much of the upstairs as I can. There is months of dirty laundry, dirty glasses and empty drink cans in there. I should have known how things would be based on their cars. The cars smell of McDonald’s French fries and there are dozens of empty soft drink cans. I have to clear a spot to sit if I have one of them take me somewhere. I keep thinking that all I want is routine clean-up, not spring-type scrubbing. I would love to see someone else care enough to vacuum the dog room of all of the hair the dogs shed. I would love to see the mess made by the ferrets vacuumed periodically.

I don’t know what the answer is. We are financially and in my case physically dependant on each other. I just can’t let go of some of my expectations.